The person does nothing all day. Is it laziness?

My father spends the whole day sitting, doesn't pick up a book, doesn't watch TV, doesn't want to do anything. When I insist, it feels like I'm bothering him. Has he become lazy or is there something else going on?

It's natural to feel frustration and even some hurt when you see someone who was always active spending their days doing nothing. But I want to tell you clearly: this is almost never laziness or lack of will. It's a symptom of the disease itself, and recognising that changes a lot.

Why it happens

Apathy is one of the most common symptoms in dementia. The brain areas responsible for initiative and motivation are affected, so the person may want to do something but cannot take the first step alone. It's not stubbornness: it's a real inability to initiate action.

Practical strategies

• Suggest only one activity at a time, simple and with a clear beginning: 'let's fold these towels together'.
• Make the first gestures with them, instead of asking them to start alone.
• Take advantage of meaningful tasks: watering plants, peeling fruit, listening to old music.
• Value any participation, however small, without demanding a result.
• Maintain a daily routine with predictable times.

What NOT to do

• Do not accuse them of laziness or force them with insistence or guilt.
• Do not fill the day with too many stimuli, which can tire and confuse them.
• Do not confuse apathy with deep sadness, which requires a different approach.

When to seek professional help

If apathy appeared suddenly, if there is also crying, loss of appetite, or sleep changes, speak to your GP: there may be associated depression, which is treatable. NHS 24 (111) can provide guidance.

'I thought my husband had given up on everything. When I realised it was the illness and not a lack of will, I stopped pressuring him and we started doing small things together.' — Anonymous Carer