Forgetting how to do things (dressing, cutlery, taps)

My dad just stared at his fork, as if he didn't know what it was for. The other day he didn't know how to put on his coat. It's not just memory, is it?

You're right: it's not just memory. Dementia also affects the ability to plan and carry out learned movements — this is called apraxia. The person knows what they want to do, but their brain can no longer find the sequence of movements. That's why you see your dad standing with the fork in his hand: the 'programme' for that movement failed at that moment.

Helping without taking away independence

Start the movement for them. Put the fork in their hand in the correct position and initiate the movement — often the body 'catches on' to the sequence and continues on its own. Break it down into small steps, one at a time: 'pick up the coat… now this arm… now the other.' Demonstrate in a mirror: perform the movement in front of them, slowly, for them to imitate.

Simplify what you can: clothes without buttons or laces, cutlery with thick handles, only one item at a time on the table. Each simplification helps maintain independence.

Protecting dignity

Never show haste or do things for the person that they can still do, even if slowly — doing it for them hastens the loss. And avoid commenting on mistakes ('don't you know how to use a fork anymore?'): shame leads to giving up. If difficulties appear suddenly or worsen very quickly, mention it to the GP at the next appointment.