Moving the person to another house: minimising the impact

My mother will have to come and live with us — her house is no longer safe. Everyone says that changes worsen dementia. How can I make this less difficult?

It's true that changes in environment are costly in dementia — her old house was her mental map. But when safety speaks louder, what's in your hands is to cushion the impact.

Before the move

• Prepare the new room BEFOREHAND: her bed, her bedspread, furniture and pictures arranged similarly to her old room. Arriving in an already familiar space changes everything.
• If possible, make a gradual transition: short, increasing stays ("a few days with us") instead of a sudden cut.
• Avoid discussing the move for weeks on end — for her, each discussion is new anxiety. Simple communication, closer to the date, with a serene tone.
• Don't make her choose what to take from everything — you bring the essential sentimental items: photos, her chair, the crucifix, familiar smells (her usual soap).

In the first few days

• Expect weeks of disorientation, requests to "go home", worse nights. This is adaptation, not the new permanent state.
• Immediate and constant routine: same times, same rituals — routine is the new home.
• Signal the way from bedroom to bathroom (night light, identified door).
• Respond to "I want to go home" by addressing the emotion (security, belonging) and not the logistics — see our situation on that request.

Also take care of yourself

Receiving a parent at home reconfigures the entire family. Coordinate tasks, preserve couple's spaces, and ask for help early — before exhaustion, not after.

Sources: Alzheimer's Association; Family Caregiver Alliance (USA).