My family member wanders and gets lost. How do I deal with wandering?

My mother-in-law constantly walks around the house, back and forth, and twice she has gone out alone and didn't know how to get back home. Why does she do this and how can I help her without restraining her?

This behaviour is called wandering and affects up to 6 out of 10 people with dementia at some stage of the illness. It's not a senseless stroll — there's almost always a reason behind it, even if the person can't explain it. Understanding the cause is the first step to reducing the risk without limiting the person's freedom more than necessary.

Why it happens

Wandering can have several origins: boredom and excess energy due to lack of activity, searching for something or someone familiar (for example, "going to work" or "picking up the children"), physical discomfort such as pain, hunger or needing to use the toilet, anxiety or disorientation in space and time, or simply a lifelong habit of walking. In more advanced stages, the person may also lose track of where they are even within their own home.

How to reduce the risk

• Maintain a daily physical activity routine. An accompanied walk in the morning reduces the need to wander aimlessly later.
• Identify patterns. If the person always wanders at the same time, anticipate it with an activity at that moment.
• Do not directly correct the reason they give. If they say they are "picking up the children", validate the feeling ("they are fine, let's wait here for them") instead of arguing.
• Use an identification bracelet or card with your contact details, in case they go out unsupervised.
• Inform neighbours and local businesses in the area about the situation — often they are the ones who help bring the person back safely.

"My mother-in-law always used to wander in the mid-afternoon. I started suggesting a short walk around the neighbourhood at that time, with me by her side, and the rest of the day became much calmer."

What NOT to do

• Do not physically prevent them abruptly — it can cause agitation or aggression.
• Do not leave the person alone at home if there have been episodes of them leaving without warning.
• Do not ignore the behaviour as a "quirk" — it is a real need to be addressed safely.

When to seek professional help

If wandering becomes very frequent, nocturnal, or if there have been episodes of the person getting lost outside the home, speak to the GP to assess the overall situation. It's also worth complementing with safety measures at home (locks, sensors) — this more practical side is detailed in another article on the website about how to prevent dangerous exits.