How to help someone who resists or no longer knows how to get dressed?

My husband takes ages to get dressed and sometimes puts clothes on inside out or refuses to change dirty clothes. How can I help him without making him frustrated?

Getting dressed seems like a simple gesture, but it involves many steps: choosing clothes, recognising the order of each item, coordinating movements, and fastening buttons or zips. In dementia, this complex sequence becomes increasingly difficult, leading to frustration for both the person and the helper.

Why it becomes difficult

The loss of the ability to plan sequences (apraxia) means the person doesn't know where to start, even if they know the clothes well. Too many options can be paralysing, and the loss of sensation or coordination makes fine tasks like buttoning difficult. Refusal to change clothes may also reflect an attachment to a familiar item, which provides security in an increasingly confusing world.

Practical strategies

• Simplify choices: offer only two clothing options instead of opening the entire wardrobe, reducing decision overload.
• Organise in dressing order: lay out items in the correct sequence (underwear, then trousers, then jumper), facilitating continuity.
• Adapted clothing: prefer items with elasticated waistbands, Velcro instead of small buttons, and soft, easy-to-wear fabrics.
• Allow time and simple instructions: communicate one step at a time, "now put on your left arm", and avoid rushing.
• Allow partial autonomy: let the person do what they can, even if it takes longer, and discreetly help with the rest.
• Dealing with attachment to an item: if there is resistance to taking off a specific item of clothing, have an identical or similar item to change into without altering the appearance.

"I started putting only two clothing options on the bed instead of letting him choose from the entire wardrobe. It was like taking a huge weight off his shoulders — he stopped getting agitated in the morning."

What NOT to do

• Do not rush or constantly correct, even if clothes are inside out or mismatched.
• Do not give too many clothing options at once.
• Do not dress the person completely if they can still do part of the task themselves — this accelerates the loss of autonomy.

When to seek professional help

If you notice increasing difficulty with mobility when dressing, joint pain, or stiffness that makes movements difficult, speak to a doctor or physiotherapist. An occupational therapist can also suggest clothing adaptations and specific techniques to preserve autonomy for as long as possible.